More Desperate Seeking…

I’ve just revisited this old post on the search terms that lead people to MOTO. Time for an update I think 🙂

Besides the obvious terms such as ‘Golden Dawn’, ‘Magic’ etc, there were some old favourites and a few new surprises for 2010.

Lisa Simpson, in various forms comes out on top of the oddities.

  • Photos of Lisa Simpson naked’ (again),
  • ‘Lisa Simpson erotic’
  • ‘Lisa Simpson sex’ and
  • ‘Lisa Simpson in bed’

are all there. It still fairly gorms me out that not only do people find a yellow cartoon character erotic, but then expect to discover naked photos of her.

So sex is still a big draw apparently. I am pleased to announce that MOTO lived up to its non-partisan reputation:

  • ‘Wicca Sex’

was the ninth most popular search that led to MOTO, closely followed by

  • ‘Christian Sex’

in at number 12. See how the esoteric goes beyond all sectarian boundaries? Or at least sex does 🙂 Unfortunately ‘Evil Sex’ was not far behind and just behind that, ‘Sex is bad’. Who searches for these things?

I am really hoping that the word was used as an adjective in the search for

  • ‘Earthworm Sex’

which led no less than 16 people to MOTO. I just do not want to conceive of a world where 16 people have ‘a thing’ for earthworms.

As always, some people just want answers:

  • Why does magicians always have a wand?’ and
  • Christian marriage sex – how to?’


Various forms of nudism made an appearance this year, which is fine except for ‘child nudism’. 😦 What I want to know however is what is

  • ‘Nude Milk’

and how the hell MOTO was found by that search? Isn’t all milk nude, or have I been missing out on something?

Naturally there were all sorts of magical terms used in the searches. It seems like last years searcher for ‘Aleister Crowley Steak’ may have broadened their practice a bit with

  • ‘Meat Invocation’. 🙂

Some folk are very clear about their needs:

  • ‘Real cow pictures that can be copied for nothing’. Yeah, we all need some of those.

Others are equally as particular and seem to have an inflated sense of what a search engine can deliver:

  • ‘Pamela Coleman Smith high priestess just the drawing.’

I wonder if s/he was expecting Google to remove all the text or something?

A few searches ponder deep questions way beyond my ken:

  • ‘Charlie Brown – cause and effects’. Sounds like a referral to the Dalai Lama to me.

And despite MOTO being all spiritual and esoteric we are still found by folk wanting a plain answer to an honest question:

  • ‘What to say during Christmas to an old person?’

What indeed? 🙂 Here’s wishing this searcher found what they were looking for and their elderly relative or friend enjoyed much social intercourse and that we all enjoy a very peaceful and inspiring Holy Season 🙂 Thank you one and all for your support, readership and comments.



  1. Satima Flavell · December 24, 2010

    What a hoot, Peregrin! The machinations of the imagination can be mind-blowing! They can also be both funny and pathetic:-)

  2. Michael · December 24, 2010

    This is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time. Thanks for sharing, and please do another one next year!

  3. Pallas Renatus · January 9, 2011

    Ahhaha. How people decide on some of the things they punch into their search engine still eludes me. I’m fairly sure my mom still asks Google questions as if it were an oracle.

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